the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i will never coherently bang her
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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