No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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