the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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