I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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