Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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