They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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