I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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