I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
