But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
