Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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