i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
