Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
