I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
