I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I CAN MOONWALK!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He did a backflip because drugs
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
