he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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