I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
