I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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