It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
