Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
