totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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