Don't you send me to vm
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
