Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
