More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just found puke in my bra..
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
