Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
