It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I don't deserve a penis
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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