so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
