i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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