I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize
