That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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