can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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