I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
