Me too!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
