Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
