exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
