Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
