My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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