I heard we made out
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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