Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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