i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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