Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
