how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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