Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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