I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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