I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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