I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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