:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
