Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
