if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
okay pat passed out under dana's car
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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