Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
