3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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