You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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