what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
