i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
