fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
