ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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