Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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