Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
