ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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