and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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