Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
