I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize